No regerts… Okay maybe a few regerts

It took me a long time to mull over this question:

“What was your biggest regret.”

There was a mix of how silly somethings were, how many regrets I have, debating if I really regretted certain things. I finally had to rethink the question to come up with the answer. I asked myself of all my regrets, what is one thing I would go back and change if I could.

I’ve mentioned in previous stories but, my Memere was my parental guardian from the time I was in 1st grade until she passed during the summer of 2011. She and I had the kind of relationship most people have with the adults that take care of them everyday. There were many good times and there were some really, super, extra, not good times. Saying we didn’t meet eye to eye would probably be an understatement. This had a lot to do with what an angsty, depressed, hormone riddled teenager I was. Everything got on my nerves, everything was always infuriating, and even though every teenager on the planet understood it felt like no one did.

This leads to my regret. Now, do I absolutely regret being a miserable little bitch and taking everyone in the house down with me whenever I could? Absolutely. But my regret is a little more than that.

More than anything, if I could go back and change something, I would have spent more quality time with my Memere. Regardless of the fights and tears and slammed doors, I really wish I just spent time with her. I wish I showed interest in learning how to cook. I wish I tried harder to learn to sew and crochet. If I could go back I would ask her to go to the movies or the mall or the bookstore with me more. I wish we had a movie night once a week or I could have been bothered to enjoy a board game with her on a Friday night. I think I missed out on a lot of lessons and talks and bonding. Hell, maybe there wouldn’t have been so many blow outs if I tried to connect a little more.

So there we have it. My biggest regret. If nothing else, it’s a lesson I’m still learning and hopefully a bit of wisdom I can pass on through this blog.

The time won’t always be there. Spend it with love.